30-Sep-2005

Something good has happened today, and, although I wish I could share it with you kind folks who (don't) read my blog, this one is for me and me only.  To celebrate, the Hottie, the Designated Driver, and I are all heading to Successful Writer's house for some classy red wine and a glimpse of the very spot in the dining room where Orson Wells kicked the bucket.  Perhaps he choked on some of the cold pizza Successful Writer always seems to keep stocked there...  After the party, we'll be at the Arclight for the opening night of "A History of Violence."  Now, I don't care much for Viggo Mortensen.  Okay, maybe it's not him, maybe it's his face, which is so chiseled you could carve a turkey on it.  Regardless, the movie looks promising, and even if I don't like it, I'll pretend to.  After all, the writer will probably be sitting right behind me, and that is the Hollywood way.

In other news, my G-Money pimped-out blind date rescheduled on me!  G-Money's take on the situation:  "If he does it again, I'll tell CVG (her agent, aka blind date's boss) that we're firing him."  Ah, I love it when G-Money gets all Shannen Dougherty on me. 

But seriously, why should guys have to be bullied into dating me?  According to my writer pal Entourage, I've got the best of both worlds.  Here's his explanation from our monthly outing to The Snake Pit.

Entourage:  You were an ugly kid, weren't you?

I SLAP him.

Entourage:  Wait, wait.  Hear me out.  You were awkward growing up, so you had to overcompensate by being both smart and funny.  Now you're hot, but you've got the wit to back it up, and you know how to not take a guy for granted.  Because you used to be ugly.

I SLAP him again.  But he's right.  In an insulting, politically incorrect way.  But how did he know that, while growing up, I hated to shower, got chunks of Snickers bars stuck in my braces, and once let my hair grow into a mullet?  And who knew that, after all that, I would turn out to be such a prize?