19-Sep-2005

Today on Oprah, she made Jennifer Aniston cry and gave ten million dollars to the victims of Hurricane Katrina.  Now you can go right ahead and judge me for watching Oprah while splayed out on my boss's couch in a Newsradio robe, but hear me out.  I get in this morning and get an email from G-Money saying they're not coming in.  This was what was supposed to happen on Friday, except when I ventured back from the kitchen with my toasted bagel and chocolate soy milk they were both sitting at their desks.  And here I was ready to crank up some Family Guy and Rosemary's Baby and maybe even a little Go.  I know what you're thinking, and yes, my life does suck.  But today, it was like an unexpected gift, a treasure chest without the hassle of the map and the Temple of Doom and whatnot.  Until I realized that I had left home without my standard pack of Polanski and Sarah Polley.  My only choice was to crank up the crappy cable in H-bert's office, where I caught up with Days of Our Lives ( I was an avid watcher when I was twelve, but damned if it isn't the same freakin' day of their lives - these daytime programs really know how to string out their subplots), Oprah, and even a Fox 11 Special Report about people being taken hostage in a Long Beach check-cashing store.  So just remember, folks, the next time Gary Coleman appears on your screen encouraging you to get your pay early, don't go to the Long Beach branch.