4-Nov-2005

As many of you know from my griping and complaining for the past... however long you've known me, I like to gripe and complain.  I will bitch for years about that one snide comment you made about my scrunchie choice back in 1987.  So it's no surprise how much of a toll this move has taken on me.  However, now that we are semi-settled in, I thought I'd give you a glimpse of my nicer side. 

Here are the top 5 things I love about being on the lot:

5.)  Residing a mere 50 feet from the writing staff of both "Arrested Development" and "The Simpsons."  "The Simpsons" staff has the Rolls Royce of golf carts... maybe one day, Mitchell Hurwitz.  You deserve it.

4.)  The discounted DVD store.  I know I swore you off back in September, but today, when I entered your hallowed halls for the first time, the amazing prospect of buying all the seasons of "24" for less than a hundred bucks slammed me in the face like a barreling Mac truck chock full of Reese's pieces.

3.)  Curly fries at the commissary.  To which I say, to hell with you, Arby's!  I don't need the 15 minute drive to Santa Monica any more. 

2.)  All the tech guys who tell me to have a nice day, or tell me my eyes are beautiful.  Except today when that happened, I smiled back, and the guy looked at me kind of funny.  So I turned around, and there was a much, much hotter girl behind me.  Whatever.  I had curly fries to look forward to.

1.)  My own office!  Complete with windows that actually open and a very nice view of... the barbed wire that divides the lot from the adjacent neighborhood and a shed so creepy and creaky it can only be used to molest children. 

Wow.  I did not expect the last two words of that top 5 list to be "molest children."  I need a drink.