6-Dec-2005

My friend and former roommate Safari Barbie is getting married in D.C. on December 27th.  Resourceful as I am, I have already made my travel plans:  plane tickets have been purchased, rental cars reserved, and overpriced Williams Sonoma woodmill salt and pepper shakers shipped off to the happy couple, complete with an encouraging little note about love from Yours Truly.  However, as I was patting myself on the back for my organization and forethought, I caught sight of the small print at the bottom of the invitation:  "Black Tie Optional."  CRRRRRRAAAAPPPPP... Do you know what this means?  Well, I'll tell you.  It means that, instead of spending Christmas getting liquored up and watching every Bon Jovi concert from 1980 to the end of time (my dad owns them all on DVD and/or VHS), I will be digging through my closet for the crushed velvet and tulle that served as my prom dress at the conclusion of the last millennium.  Luckily, I will have several dozen of Mammy Jane's homemade bourbon balls to keep me company in the throngs of apparel combat.  However, if anyone would like to loan me a dress, I am also open to that option.  My family will thank you for the freed-up karaoke time.  Can you say "Dead or Alive?"