16-Jan-2006

Ryan Seacrest is a horrible human being.  He does this thing, this horrible awful thing on his radio show (and no, I'm not talking about his open infatuation with high fashion or hair gel).  No.  This is a trick that people can play on their significant others when they suspect them of cheating.  What happens is some chick from 102.7 will call up said suspected cheater and tell them that, as a promotional thingamabobber, they've won free flowers to be sent to the recipient of their choice.  Today's trick went a little something like this (I don't remember the guy's name, so I'll just call him Jose).

Woman:  All you have to do is give me a name and a message for the card.

Jose:  Wow!  That's great.  And you won't charge me anything?

Woman:  Not a dime.  All I need is the name.

Jose:  Then I guess I'll send them to Racquel. 

Woman:  And the message?

Jose:  I miss you, baby.

Jose's Wife:  (chiming in) Jose?  This is your wife.  Who the $%^*% is Racquel?

Jose:  Uh, uh, I don't... she works with me.

Woman from the Radio:  And you miss her?

Ryan Seacrest:  Jose, this is Ryan Seacrest.

Long, awkward pause as it is ascertained no one gives a shit that Ryan Seacrest is on this call. 

But Jesus, what is wrong with him?  One of these days, Ryan, when I figure out how to clean the tape player in my car...