9-Jan-2006

Have you ever had a nightmare about a movie you haven't yet seen?  Saturday, after several white chocolate raspberry martinis poolside at the Avalon Hotel, I settled down in my flannel penguin pajamas, a little Season 3 of "24" to soothe my... okay, well, white chocolate-flavored alcohol pretty much soothes my nerves, but regardless, I drifted off to the calming lull of Jack Bauer saving the world.  Or Los Angeles.  Same fucking diff, am I right, folks?  However, I woke up at 3:35 AM in a cold sweat, convinced there was someone in my apartment besides Max (who was snoring to wake the neighbors a la Bryan Adams).  Now, normal people might just take a few deep breaths and shake it off.  But no.  Not me.  I am not normal.  Not that I'm special - I don't think anybody's actually normal.  I also don't think that these normal people who don't exist will, after having a nightmare about the tremendously horrifying previews for Hostel, do a quick check of the house with their snoring cat in one hand and a dull bread knife in the other.  Said people who don't exist will not then barricade themselves in their bedroom with a heavy desk chair pushed up against the door, carefully tucking the bread knife under their alarm clock.  See, this is why I don't think I could live alone.  But God, don't those previews really make you wanna go see that movie?  Stick Jay Hernandez in a ball gag, throw in some cruel-intentioned Eastern European whores, and I am so there.