13-Feb-2006
Lately, I've been confused about something. You're probably wondering where I'm gonna go with this one, or you're wondering how you ever came to be so bored as to read this blog when there are 4 seasons of "24" floating around on DVD. But rest assured, my confusion is simple. You see, when I'm stuck in traffic, or hit my head on the edge of a table, or can't find my size jeans at the Gap, the typical "fuck" expletive is not enough. Instead, I use the following: "Fuck me in the goat ass!" I've been saying it forever; thankfully, only when I'm alone. But my question is this: Do other people say it? Let's put aside the improbability of fucking one in the goat ass (goats are notoriously stubborn creatures, after all), as well as the all-out vulgarity of the statement. Did I make it up? Is it weird if I did? Would it be less weird if I were to exclaim "Fuck a goat in the ass?"
And I know some of you complain that I never use this blog to talk about what's actually going on in my life... it's all television and pop culture and "Dawson's." But believe me when I say this - I'm just that shallow. Plus, I'm passive aggressive enough without using my blog to let someone know how I really feel about them. Yes, I'm talking to you, Person Who Took the Last Piece of Bread at Dinner Last Night. I would say "Fuck you in the goat ass" if I weren't so sure you'd enjoy it. Perv.
Although I have never heard anyone say "Fuck me in the goat ass", I have heard "Fuck me in the eye" used extensively. So I don't think its weird (certainly not weirder than being fucked in the eye)... but I do think you made it up.
It's a skit on an Adam Sandler comedy CD. I first heard it in Jason Clark's little red car at lunch one day in high school. I can't remember the whole premise, but I know these guys are messing around with a talking goat and the goat says it at one point. It was pretty funny stuff then, at least.
You're totally right! I remember listening to it in Scott Nicholas's car on the way to his grandmother's - it's all coming back to me. Thank you so much, Lydia!
i've heard 'fuck that. fuck that in the goat ass' a few times, but never 'fuck me' with the implication that you yourself have a goat's ass. maybe you're the goat ass i've been referring as i cursed in traffic or stubbed my toe.