27-Sep-2006
I am starting a new tradition. Right here. Right now. What is this new tradition, you might ask? Well, here's the deal. I'm sick and tired of online surveys. The questions are part superficial, part quasi-retarded. So I'd like to give you, the reader, an opportunity to design your own survey. If there's something you're hankering to ask me, please, post your question in the comments section, or shoot me an email. I will post my responses here.
To get the ball rolling, the Designated Driver and Chlydia have already posed a couple:
What's the new P.A.'s number...I'll have him add hostess chocolate donuts to the list...so you'll definitly eat! --DD
First off, I see right through you, and no, I will not give you the P.A.'s number so you can sexually harass him. That's my job. I don't want you barging in, whispering sweet nothings in his ear (you know what I'm talking about - "My stapler's empty," or "Order me some floppy disks" or "My coffee needs cream.").
Second, again, I see right through you. A girl cannot survive on Hostess chocolate donuts alone. Provide me with Hostess chocolate donuts, chocolate martinis, and Flinstone's vitamins, then we'll talk.
What's up with you and the word "faux" being new best friends?
I'll tell you what's up, Chlydia. "Faux" is my new best friend because all of my other friends either a.) tell me I, like William Faulkner, can't write; b.) try to seduce my P.A.; c.) try to push me off a cliff; or d.) have stopped being anorexic and therefore no longer hand down their cool (but too big for them) clubbing clothes to me.
More tomorrow, dearies.
How'd you get so damn funny? I will gladly contribute chocolate martini ingredients if that will help...then all you would need is flintson chewable vitamins oh and to give me the P.A.'s number!
Here's another one for your cutesy little survey. Can you explain these to me?