13-Oct-2006

I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but we are through.  We had our fun, our little tango with danger, with death, with potential civil unrest and ruination.  But I am officially moving on.  Why, you ask?  Because you, this week, blow more goats than a hooker at a bachelor party. 

All I have left to say is thank God (and the wee baby Jesus, of course) for the Staff Writer (who literally kept me from bursting into tears all Monday afternoon), the Designated Driver, the Honeybee, Cliffhanger (who burst out laughing when I told her my situation, at which point I realized it was pretty fucking funny), the Hottie, Mom, and, of course, hawk porn.  Otherwise, I might have found myself zombified in front of an episode of "The Nine" with an open jug of Clorox and a non-spell-checked suicide note. 

Seriously, though.  Thanks for all the fun times.  I really enjoyed being anally raped up the ass (yeah, I'm being redundant about anal rape, fucking pick a fight with me, I dare ya) for 96 hours straight. 

Love and Hugs,

Melissa