12-Oct-2006
What do girls REALLY think of guys who like football? --Staff Writer
Girls think the same thing about guys who like football as they do about guys who don't like football. They think, "Gee, there goes another underwhelming specimen of humankind who won't want to commit, can't cook, and is slightly overweight but no one cares; Sign me up!" Point being, girls are stupid, and guys are fat.
However, if you're asking me personally what I think of guys who like football (and I can only assume you are, since this question came from an email to me), I'll tweak my answer. I tend to like guys who like football more than guys who don't like football. There are a couple of reasons for this phenomenon. First off, I care not for metrosexuals. I mean, granted, it's not hard to have better fashion sense than I do (I'm wearing Target flipflops right now, for God's sake!), but if you're, say, a better cook than I am, well, not only will I be insulted, but I'll also think four times before I even consider jumping your bones. And the last thing you want is a girl who thinks before she jumps in the sack with you. Duh... Second, I tend to like football season because of all the white trash food that goes along with it... hot dogs, nachos, seven layer dip, pigs in a blanket, chess pie. You Kentucky folk know the drill. Plus, game days are the only time when it's even semi-appropriate to wear sweatshirts (says my inferior fashion sense). Which means a covering up of the layer of "football fat" one develops over the course of four hours. In short, I dig guys who like football, but it's more important that they dig me when I'm fat.
In Colorado we do the "game day" food buffet as well...although we don't refer to it as white trash food. Maybe because we don't do pigs in a blanket. We're more on the Mexican side of things in the big square state. My point is thus: when I think football I think "Thank the wee baby Jesus, I'm starving and it's time to eat!" Which also leads me to think that I, unlike you, will not hold culinary talent against someone with Y chromosomes. Hopefully since they can cook for themselves they are not skeletal and instead are football fat like me.
I am sooooo glad Justin doesn't like football. So. Glad.
He cooks, does laundry, and fixes stuff. He doesn't have fashion sense, but neither do I! It works out great.
As a girl who likes football enough to have her sexuality speculated about, I, for one, dig football fan boys hardcore. They come in second only to football players or former players.
That said, where's the fucking memo that says I can only wear sweatshirts on game days. Luckily, for me, that means Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. I can go sweatshirtless for Tuesday and Wednesdays, I suppose.
And, four hours? Try 14.
P.S. Football fat is a lot of fun until Keeneland fall meet opens and one is expected to be a Kentucky cute girl once again.