24-Oct-2006

Guess what, everybody?  It's QUESTION DAY!!!  What?  Tuesday is question day?  But, Melissa, what about last week?  Well, I'll tell you what about last week, imaginary reader.  Last week, my time was largely occupied by staring at a.) a blank wall; or b.) daytime television; or c.) Max and Peter humping each other.  Or spooning.  So let's get to it. 

Who took Justin Timberlake's sexy in the first place?  --The Honeybee

Ah, yes.  If I had a nickel for every time someone has come to me seeking counsel on this very subject... I think, Honeybee, that you are misinterpreting JT's lyrics.  If you were to eject the goddamn Pippen soundtrack that perpetually rests in your goddamn CD player and turn on a little 102.7, maybe, just maybe, JT could get through to you.  He's "bringing sexy back.  You motherfuckers don't know how to act."  Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe he's addressing the male faction of his generation.  As in, "you motherfuckers don't know how to be sexy, so I, JT, am gonna show you.  What qualifies me to show you?  I sleep with Cameron Diaz.  You sleep with a beer buzz."  The crucial point you've missed is that NO ONE took Justin Timberlake's sexy.  He's had it all along; it's just that now, in 2006, he's determined that he needs to bring it back in style for all mankind, so that we may all one day sleep with Cameron Diaz.