23-Oct-2006
Friday night, I went to dinner with CVG's ex-assistant. It was same ole, same ole. He told me I looked hot, I told him to shut up, he tried to put his arm around me, the phone rang, I ducked out of his grasp. Cliffhanger has the most poetic sense of timing (and time management, which she's still trying to convince me is an actual concept that I should try to master). After saying goodbye to my "date" (anyone who gets away with jabbing his finger at my ribs I have to call a date), I met up with said time management guru and her pal at Pink Berry. Pink Berry is better than anything else in the world. And yes, I know, that's the best, most specific description of anything, ever.
Saturday, the Designated Driver came hiking with us. I am convinced that Cliffhanger will, indeed, push me off a cliff one of these days if I make too many puns, but I swear, if I have to survive one more hike with her belting out "Benny and the Jets" for two hours straight, I might just jump. It's not that the girl can't carry a tune, but she doesn't know the words!! Then, the Designated Driver tried to outdo her by singing the states in alphabetical order; Cliffhanger foiled that plan by adding a clever two-step to her Elton John fiasco, and, for the first time, I understood why some members of my family have attempted (and some successfully) to take their own lives.
Thankfully, the hike was cut short because the Designated Driver and I had to head down to Orange County for the DD's sister's bridal shower. I won a pumpkin carving set at Bridal Bingo, so I guess now I have to buy a pumpkin. I'm thinking road trip to the Roloff farm in Oregon. Who's with me? No takers? Wimps...
Speaking of pumpkins, I need to figure out a Halloween costume. Comments? Suggestions? I will finish up the weekend's tomfoolery tomorrow, I promise, for there is still a good deal left to discuss.
Why do you act like you have no time management skills?
I think you finished studying for our college History of Theater midterm when you were still in high school.
So this eve, I stopped slaving at 8pm (only because I had a dinner with a client across town at 8:30pm), jumped in my car and backed out of my parking spot to...BENNY AND THE JETS. First, I nearly collided with the man on a ladder trying to paint our parking garage ceiling. Second, I almost called just to harass you and to vocalize my excitment and to relive a shared memory (I would have said "positive" but after your tirade on my a capella stylings I'm going to refrain from misusing the word). And do you want to know what song followed? THRILLER. Speaking of, you forgot our rendition of BILLY JEAN, THRILLER and PAPA DON'T PREACH (x3). I know why you focus on Benny...you LOVE Benny. Nearly, but not as much, as I do. Who could?
Costume? I'm thinking sand, swaddling, a manger...you get my drift. I will be one of the wise men. Think I can get away with subbing in a Burqa? Any idea of where one rents a camel?
Not usre about Burqas or where to rent a camel but I am up for Oregon.
Love,
Mom
First off, Demon, if I am in swaddling clothes, you and the camel will have to tote me around. And I bet you're the wise man who brought gold just to make everyone else look bad. So way to go, overachiever. And I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T CALL ME! Benny and Jesus do not approve. I also can't believe that THRILLER followed BENNY. That's some major serendipity right there, Demon, and although I've bragged on your poetic sense of timing, I'm not so sure I can get behind this one.
Also, Mom, if we're going to Oregon, we're taking your car, so get crackin'.
Love,
Melissa
If we're going for authenticity, I'll give up the burqa, but you'll have to give up on the dream that WBJ hitched a ride with the wise (wo)man on a camel. You and I both know you perform best when stationary (ref: your inability to learn the BENNY Two Step, even at retard speed).
Now, see here. I'm not going to be stuck in a manger whilst you and the camel traipse all over WeHo, giggling, chatting, braiding each other's hair, and painting each other's toenails. So either the camel carries me or you do. Jesus decrees it.