17-Nov-2006

I was on the phone with Mom this morning, and somehow we got to talking about my claustrophobia.  If you've ever been on an elevator with me, you know about it.  I watch the floors tick by with wide eyes, I'll stomp one of my feet very lightly if the doors don't open quickly enough... basically, I'm a nervous wreck but trying to hide it.  In fact, I won't get on an elevator by myself, because I don't think I would know what to do were I to get stuck.  Step 1 - Panic attack; Step 2 - Heart attack.  Not good.  So I will often wait until someone is going with me to get on a car.  When I was younger, however, I was even worse.  Mom referenced one event in particular, when I was eight years old.  She had depositions in Louisville, and she took me with her to have a fancy lunch, then sit, reading, outside the conference room at the law firm.  I was very studious, as you can imagine, and toted a wide variety of literature - Great Expectations and The Babysitters Club.  However, it wasn't until we got to the lobby of the building that we realized her depos were on the 32nd floor.  I freaked, as I tended (and still tend) to do.  So guess who walked up 32 flights of stairs?  Yep, that's right.  Me.  And guess who walked up 32 flights of stairs in heels, because I was too scared to go by myself?  If you guessed Mom, you guessed correctly.  How much do we love Mom?  A lot.  Anyway, I was apologizing (finally) for this incident this morning.

Me:  I can't believe I made you do that!  (pause)  Do you ever think I'm, I don't know, more difficult to be around than most people?  (Here I am hoping for a "No, everyone is difficult, once you get to know them.  Human beings are complex" speech)

Mom:  Yes.

Me:  Uh... do you want to elaborate?  Maybe I'm more complex than most people?  Maybe?  (This is bullshit.  I know very well that each and every person is just as complex as the next).

Mom:  By complex, do you mean spoiled?

Me:  Well, isn't that your fault?

Mom:  Whatever, dear.  What.  Ever.

Seriously.  What would I do without her?