15-Nov-2006

Today, I am in a good mood.  I swear it.  I promise you.  Despite this good mood, below please find a list of things that have annoyed the shit out of me over the past five hours:

1.)  If I get one more fucking message from Dwight of "The Office" fame, I am going to clobber someone.  I've gotten this call three times, and you know what, it's not that funny, and if you knew me, you'd know I have a personal vendetta against one of "The Office" cast members, so I don't really watch the show.  Personal vendettas trump entertainment any day, says I.  What does not annoy me about "The Office," you ask?  Jenna Fischer.  Which is good, since one of the writers at work walked by my cubicle and asked, "Has anyone ever told you you look just like Jenna Fischer?"  No.  But thanks for that.  Maybe I, too, can one day marry a horror writer from my hometown.  Oh, wait.  No more hometown guys... that drama got me in way too much trouble over the past couple of years. 

2.)  Another guy at work whom I don't see too often, but whenever I pass him in the halls, he whispers, "You are so beautiful" or "Damn, you're hot."  Yeah, I fucking know, McCrazy Pants, and I said no when you asked me out this summer.  Take a goddamn hint!  Your retarded attempt at giving me a compliment was funny the first time - now it's just plain annoying. 

3.)  People asking my advice.  And by "people," I mean friends.  Haven't we established that I'm a taker, not a giver?  Find someone else to bother.  I know I may seem like I have all the answers, but I know jack shit about anything relevant. 

4.)  Someone else made the coffee at work today, and it was way too weak.  Who can tell? 

It's a good thing The Other Me is coming over for a little Dawson's reprieve tonight.  She'll tell me to shut up and eat a cupcake.  And she'll even bring me one.