9-Nov-2006
Today, New Boss took me to lunch in order to brainstorm some notes for his feature. I am not used to brainstorming with my boss, and I have to say, I'm totally digging it. When he likes a pitch of mine, I feel my existence is validated. But, as with anything, after a couple of hours, you start to get loopy. Once we'd made a couple of breakthroughs and suffered a couple of disappointments, we had the following conversation:
NB: I have a goal, as your boss.
Me: What's that?
NB: We need to spice up your life. No more game nights.
Me: But I like game night.
NB: No. I'm going to have to set you up.
Me: And it will end badly, and I'll stop coming to work because I'm depressed and broken-hearted.
NB: Hmmm...
Me: See? You can't spice me up.
NB: I've got it!! You'll start shopping at Forever 21. Mission accomplished.
(He goes back to his chicken panini, then stops)
NB: Also, I feel you might be anorexic.
Me: Okay, one intervention at a time, dude.
Why do I have the sinking feeling that we'll be taking a field trip to the Grove?
Ew. I tried shopping at Forever 21 in order to coolify myself, and all I did was look like an unwieldy water buffalo trying to pass for a 12-year-old girl. Not a pretty sight.
Also, I don't think you're allowed to shop there if you use words like "coolify."
New Boss has obviously not seen the skank shorts.