Yes, I'm Stupid

I have been trying, TRYING, I tell you, to post all through this past week, what with the strike happenings and my grandfather sort of kind of maybe attempting suicide (but the Southern Baptists are cagey with their information, especially when it involves the taking of one's life) and no chess pie leftovers from the Scary Movie fest.  It has been a rotten week, yet I am strangely calm.  I wonder if it's the Indian food I ate for lunch.  Or the fact that I've started a page-one rewrite of the novel I began months ago.  I wrote nearly three hundred pages and then realized my two main characters, both near and dear to my heart, were being cagey a la the Southern Baptists.  They were nuanced, but they were too much so.  That's when I realized they'd been LYING to me, the little sluts; they were wearing masks the entire time!!!  Sure, I could see the small things:  what they were wearing, what they were doing (I think this is fallout from time spent writing scripts for a visual medium), sometimes what they were thinking.  But all their thoughts were strangely... healthy.  And I know them well, I do, so I should have caught onto them sooner, because they are most assuredly not healthy.  They might think they are, but they are not.  So now I am digging deeper, trying not to type anything they tell me that rings false.  What have I learned?  That rewriting is a bitch.  But it also feels really good.

Also, with the now seemingly inevitable strike, I will probably lose my job.  Maybe not tomorrow, but definitely within the next couple of weeks.  My mother, realizing this, asked me what my plan was, and I immediately jumped on the defensive wagon, "I don't know.  I have some money saved up.  It's not like there will be any industry jobs for awhile..."  Then, Mom interrupted me, "No.  I mean, are you going to finish your novel?  I want you to finish your novel."  Sometimes, most of the time, actually, I'm so glad my parents are my parents.  Then I got the big, "Don't cross the picket line" speech from my father, a throwback from his FOP days, I suppose.  I am very lucky, am I not?